So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
