then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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