Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
this must be what syphilis tastes like
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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