i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
