spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
