Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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