so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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