You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
