can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
