We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
