She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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