Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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