I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He felt like a one man threesome
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Are we still banned from the library?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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