idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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