I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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