1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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