You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
