She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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