Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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