i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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