i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
