He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
