I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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