that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
