we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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