I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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