You're so nebulous sometimes
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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