we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
