that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
