Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If I die, sorry about rent.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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