I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
