This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
