Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
