I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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