Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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