well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
