I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
