i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
