Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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