i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
They have beer where we have blood.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
