OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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