He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
