You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
whose ass print is on the piano?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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