He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
