After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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