So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You were trust falling into bushes
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
