You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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