i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
