Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
