How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
