i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
