So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There r osticjed everywhere
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
