carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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