Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
