i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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