Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize