Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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