YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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