i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
