She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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